The Haycock Ballroom

A poorly presented submission from someone who should know better. It's all very well getting these things, but people need to know where they are as well; they might want to visit and add it to their own personal collection of cocks. Looks a bit upper class, golf club-like to me so I would guess Tim was only driving past rather than actually being invited to any sort of function or anything.

The Bush Inn Cockermouth

Sometimes putting this site together can be quite a challenge. Where am I supposed to put this one? It's not a pub called cock so it can't go there. It is a book with cock written on it so should it go on Cock Books. The Bush Inn itself has great potential as a Not Called Cock entry in itself, so should I put it there?

I just don't know! So I'll put it here for now and see if anyone argues.

How to keep a grip on your cock

Once you have grabbed hold of a cock and grappled it into a comfortable position between your legs, you really need to hold it tight to make sure it can't escape!

This unfortunate bird's identity has been masked to protect its future well-being. Poor thing.

Steve Wilcock - handyman services

Buy a van, write cock on it, ply your trade. As a business model, it can't be beaten. Captured by Timothy Charles near Keighley whilst out for his lunch.

French toilette

This is what the French have in their bogs. Pictures of cocks; how very European of them......

Underground advert

On the tube in London. I failed to live up to my own low standards by not remembering where it was and what it was advertising. Still, no-one cares so what the hell.

Weather vane cock

On top of the Quilters Pub in Colchester. Taken from a great distance - please forgive the bluriness of my cock.

A cock for my birthday

What a lovely gift. Thanks Mandy!

Another cock doorstop

Jimmy's farm proving to be rife with cocking opportunities. This was holding the door open in one of his badly managed outhouses.

A real Peacock

This magnificent example was captured strutting around Jimmy's Farm, overseeing the financial ruin of the incompetent Suffolk pig-breeder cum media whore.

Cock in the window

Pictured peering out of a neighbour's house. My money is on this being a cheap bit of tourist tat from Portugal or somewhere like that.

AJ Willcock

Caught trying to sneak off the M4 without being snapped up - you'll have to do better than that to evade capture by a professional cocker.

Sasha the cocker spaniel

Well done to Graeme; your first contribution to things called cock - a great debut; submitting your own dog (who is a bit like Eeyore) for the world to enjoy. I think she looks like a poodle, but I am assured that the pedigree paperwork is all in place and correct.

Cock statue

Part of the cock-themed decor of the Cock Horse Inn in Kent. On the window sill watching over the drinkers enjoying a quiet pint of ale and a bit of cocking.

Peacock theatre London

How could we have missed the Peacock Theatre for so long? A quick look at their website shows a load of poncey dance rubbish until October followed by the mighty cool shaolin monk bods who spend all night hitting each other with sticks - just like a night out in Bradford.

Amateur drive by cocking.

The quality really is dropping today; if you can't be bothered framing the photo properly just don't bother you loser.

Tim demonstrating his mastery of the photographic art once again - photoshop can only do so much to make these things readable you know!Any way - trust Cockram's to get you to the airport - start your holiday in style by taking a ride in our luxury Transit van. Can't beat it!

Pococks Roses

Blooming lovely floral entry from Timmy - thanks petal!

A self portrait and our first foray into blackmail

We know who you are and we'll publish the unedited pictures unless you cooperate! Fine piece of sculpture mind you - well done and welcome to another new cocking colleague. I dread to think what he is trying to do in that second picture!

AJ Cocks Transport Ltd

Let AJ Cocks shift your bricks and blocks - captured on the M4 motorway near Reading. The driver wasn't at all amused that I slowed down and made him overtake me so that I could get the pictures! Some things in life, such as capturing a classic thing called cock, are always worth slowing down for.

Shower curtain

Captured by top cocking-colleague Timmy on a shower curtain in the Comfort Inn Vantaa near Helsinki. Our first scandinavian cock.

Cockermouth Cock Rock Festival

This has got to be among the best ever entries - congratulations to our latest new cocking colleague for capturing this astonishing example of cock exhibitionism!

Holbrook House Hotel Wincanton

A short visit to the Holbrook House Hotel uncovered this magnificent range of cocks, from the doorstop holding open the reception room door to the smashing range of pictorial cock representations hung around the public areas of the hotel! A great place to stay for the keen cocking colleague; but who is that mystery cocking ninja reflected in the glass?

Wylye Valley Foods

Captured on the A303 in Wiltshire - made even better by the company not only calling itself something sounding a little bit like willy, but then choosing to base itself in Woodcock! Tremedous effort and well done. I wonder if there are any other "double entries" out there to beat this one?

Another fine upstanding cockerel

Defaced toilet sign

Discovered in the toilets at the Grand Chancellor Hotel in Launceston Tasmania. Obviously I have captured the work of a cocking colleague from an earlier visit who was trying to up their ranking by making some small changes to the Rentokil sign. You should always try to maintain the hygiene around your cock!

Our first real cockerel

Cock Gala

What to do with a leaky cock

The Reverend Richard Hancock

From Shrivenham near Swindon - taken from the Parish notice board.

Cocker Spaniel?

We can't agree whether this is a Cocker Spaniel or not. If anyone has any contacts in the RSPCA who can confirm the true cock resembling nature of this tatty plastic dog, let us know - thingscalledcock@hotmail.co.uk!

Timmy's Dad has decided to enter the quality control fray on this one - he is absolutely cock sure that this is a cocker spaniel - something to do with the long floppy ears apparently. We are hoping to have a picture of a real cocker spaniel soon which should help us settle the issue once and for all!!

Jarvis Cocker

Caught on th side of the Barbican Centre in London. What we really need is a picture of the man himself strutting his stuff on stage - that would be a great addition to our collection.

Jarvis also makes an appearance on Cocks in the Media - starring on the cover of the Radio Times.

Kersaint Cobb and Company

Harvester Cock

This one is from the Harvester / Innkeepers Lodge at Cove in Hampshire. A living death to stay there - but at least some cock caricatures were provided for light relief from the purgatory of cheap hotel existence.

Shuttlecocks

And in a sports shop in Colchester







































A picture of one in Sevonoaks leisure centre

And one with a bulbous red end submitted by Ian B - who is to be congratulated on his first enthusiastic flurry into cocking. He's been a busy boy.

On the beach at West Mersea. A tatty old shuttlecock.

Lord Cockburn

Joe Cocker - the legend

The croaky old crooner crops up everywhere - from inserts in the Radio Times to the CD stall in Heathrow airport. What would you do if I sang about a cock?
Also now appearing on the London Underground (but not as a vagrant)!